One of the brides recently asked me, “what are the keys to a successful wedding day”. I replied, "listen my young padawan, I have a lot to teach you..." after a lifetime spent watching weddings I wasn't sure I was ready to give advice like a guru on marriage matters. She, with her jaw on the floor, responded that it wasn't right that this veritable treasure of ceremonial knowledge wasn't poured out onto the rest of the wedding world. At the same time he asked me to write some suggestions from my experience in the industry. So that's what I'm doing now, with the hope that it will be useful.
My tips for not going crazy with the wedding and enjoying it to the full
1. Determine what is important
There are so many traditions and timing to follow but it was the wedding sector that decided that we all need to welcome and understand them to have the perfect wedding... From cutting the cake to the first dances to the bouquets of flowers. None of these things are really necessary for the real purpose of the day but they can certainly add an element of fun: only if it has meaning for you. To make this process more focused and meaningful, I can recommend asking your friends and clients to list the three things that were important to their wedding day. Do you dance? Photos? The perfect place? The amount of guests who attended? The dress? Whatever it is, don't get depressed about it! It's your day and you and your boyfriend/girlfriend can freely choose what to prioritize. Leave the majority of your wedding budget, as well as your time and effort, to the things that matter most to you; and if there is no room for other things, amen!
2. The first look
If I had to give advice to a young person what to consider most important I would tell him the first look. What is a first look? When the bride and groom have to see all the other people before the ceremony, they have few moments alone and getting portraits of them before they are officially married is really complex. There are several ways to do this, but it takes a lot of time: the groom will go away from the crowd and get ready in a certain position, the bride will then go to him, touch his shoulder, whisper something in his ear and that will be the face of a person who has just had a revelation.. You get the idea.. Weddings always proceed at a fast pace, you have to find a way to slow them down: Photographers should be very journalistic during this period of time, and let the couple has their moment before insisting on any pose or anything similar. This is such a special moment. I have seen couples pray together, say vows or affirm any other exchange of gifts. It's impressive! An intense first moment of intimacy frees you and allows you to relax during the aperitif or when you mingle with guests. If you have a lot of friends and family from outside, this is definitely something you'll want to consider. The most important thing is that you have to feel like your wedding. You don't want a photographer or coordinator rushing around to follow your every step slavishly. You want your day to be fun and flow by. Most importantly, this private time alone really sets the tone for the rest of the day, calming your nerves.
3. Think about the little things
Help your photographer by giving him advice to be aware of the setting of the photos he will take. A good photographer and cameraman can make beautiful portraits in any space look good, but helping them to remove the many possible obstacles is an act that makes life easier for both of us. Here are three really easy ways to do it: 1) when the bridesmaids get ready, put all their things in one corner of the room: that way there will be no bras and wraps in the background of your beautiful photo 2) bring a coat hanger in plastic material for your dress shot 3) when you and your friends/relatives walk down the aisle, keep the bouquet around your navel. In the places you book there will be many figures with the role of coordinators. Make sure you know their role and what they will do. Make sure the coordinator has met with the photographer, videographer, DJ and caterer so everyone is on the same page regarding the timeline and everyone knows who is responsible for what. If you don't have an on-site coordinator, consider hiring one to take care of all the details so things run smoothly. The last thing you want to do on your wedding day is work
4. Maintain the sacredness of the moment
As a photographer, one of the things that breaks my heart is when I see a dozen bright cell phone screens and an ipad taking personal photos for instagram as the bride walks down the aisle. These screens will not only be an ugly distraction in the peripheral part of the photo and will make the photo look dated in the coming years, but the most important thing is that you will miss the special moment of the bride walking towards her groom. If this is something that might bother you, ask the officiant to make an announcement before the ceremony about the use of iPhones during the procession, also mention that the bride and groom hired a wedding photographer for a reason and that it's time for them to relax, enjoy and live the experience with their eyes and not with the iPhone.
5. Delegate tasks
I don't know who you are, but I guarantee you that you are loved by many people. A lot of brides have trouble delegating tasks, either because they have a very specific vision of what they want and believe they will be the best at accomplishing what they want, or because they don't want trouble with their friends and family. But people want to help, especially to foster a love! Think about the people in your life and their strengths and ask yourself if they are capable of taking on that task for you. Likewise, don't expect every bridesmaid or family member to be as helpful as any other. Different people have different strengths! One friend may be able to coordinate the entire event themselves, while another may be better suited to do the calligraphy on the invitations, while yet another may be in charge of the music. Whatever they are, embrace your strengths of the people closest to you and allow them to be helpful in every way possible
6. Don't forget to eat and drink
When spouses are excited, they often forget to eat. Am I right gentlemen? Make sure your friends and relatives let you drink and at least nibble something. If you're worried about missing special moments or not getting the chance to experience them all, keep in mind that you need to be fed first and that when you're done eating, guests will still be seated at their table. Don't rush! Enjoy your meal! You certainly paid enough for him
7. Makeup and hair
You brides want to look like the best version of yourself on your wedding day! You must feel absolutely confident and beautiful. This means planning a hair and make-up session before your wedding and doing a little preparation for all the facets so you look exactly how you want. Keep in mind that even if the makeup feels hardened it is not something dramatic: professional makeup lasts much longer and in all likelihood, apart from the feeling of hardness, you will still have a dazzling look.
8. Have an emergency kit
Make sure a bridesmaid or your coordinator has a safety kit in case you need anything. Some good things for the kit to contain are a stain remover, swabs, scissors, mini sewing kit hair spray, safety pins, energy bars, gum, deodorant, makeup remover and aspirin..To name a few.
9.Share the timeline
Send the timeline of the photographer, the videographer, the coordinator, and don't forget the whole family. Make sure your friends and family know when it's time to be ready for photos and the ceremony.
10. What's really important
Here's the truth, Marriages last a day, but marriage is something that is forever. Can I get an amen? It's not about the process of "getting married," it's about the fact that at the end of the day you can "be married," and that's what's truly beautiful. Our weddings should be a reflection of our individual styles and an expression of how we feel about our partners, friends and family. Wallow yourself during the day on organizational aspects and you will miss a lot of magical memories. But if you have moved intelligently and shared the organizational work with other people so that on your wedding day you can be more free, have faith: The details will take care of themselves, as if by magic, and it will be simply and wonderfully a magical and glorious day of your life!